To End Self-Destructive Behavior- Build An Ark

Each of us have had defining times in our lives where change is necessary. Different circumstances bring this need to the surface, where what we know becomes unknown or unbearable. By nature, we are creatures of change. As we grow into new phases of life, the need to acquire new skills or strategies are apparent. When a teenager moves into adulthood, he acquires skills and makes changes to be able to juggle responsibilities and maintain relationships. Even those relationships change because we change. In adulthood, when we become parents, we are driven to seek strategies and advice in raising a child. We scrap what we know and accommodate this new being in our lives by making changes, radical changes. We do this naturally; life brings us to create change needed for our new reality.

In a similar matter, we come upon circumstances or habits we created that require we make a change. A toxic relationship, a loss, a depressive state, or a self-destructive behavior that is sucking the life out of us. And if we don’t make a change, we cannot grow, or exist. How do we make the change the universe is asking us to make?

This is exactly the topic at hand when we read Parshat Noach: change, a new beginning and how to achieve it. I’m always in awe how Torah holds the answers on how to navigate through life. Its advice is vast in number of situations it includes. Even when we feel we are unique in our struggles, Torah has a blueprint on how to find a way in or out.

From the beginning of Parshat Noach, we learn God is displease with humanity. The earth is corrupt, dark and needs a fresh start.

“And God saw the earth, and behold it had become corrupted, for all flesh had corrupted its way on the earth.

And God said to Noah, “The end of all flesh has come before Me, for the earth has become full of robbery because of them, and behold I am destroying them from the earth”.

The message is clear, there are things in life that we cannot take a merciful approach, we must obliterate if we want to exist. Wash it anew. God didn’t even give Noach the task of saving other people from their corrupt ways, why? The Torah does not explain, it’s possible there are things we cannot fix, or we lack the tools or strength to fix them. What it’s clear on is how humans need to act if we stumble into this kind of situation.

A System for a Fresh Start

God tells Noach to build an ark where he and his family will be saved. There are specific instructions on the ark, specifications of size and materials.

“Make for yourself an ark of gopher wood; you shall make the ark with compartments, and you shall caulk it both inside and outside with pitch…. And I, behold I am bringing the flood, water upon the earth, to destroy all flesh in which there is the spirit of life, from beneath the heavens; all that is upon the earth will perish.”

The Torah suggest a very detailed formula for when we find ourselves in a toxic situation. The basic structure in which Torah hands over the four-step formula is through Noach’s example. First, recognize the destructive behavior and come to terms it must end, must be destroyed. Second step, build yourself a tevah, an ark. Third, water will fall and clean the earth. And, the last step is, after the storm go out and be fruitful, multiply the earth.

Reading the story closely is important to know and understand the story holds a profound message to guide us through our own toxic situations. God instructs us to see through his lens what he intended the world to be, recognize the evil being done. See what is corrupt. Sometimes this is not clear, until things get bad. Until we can no longer live facing ourselves in the mirror. Often, it gets to the point when we say, “enough, I will die if I don’t do anything about it.” For others, a hard call wakes them up. An accident, a hospital stay, jail or death of a loved one. As difficult as it is to see our flaws, to see the darkness, it’s a gift when we recognize it. Change can only be made when we acknowledge the problem.

Ok, I see it, this is no good. It must end. It must be destroyed. But, how? Built yourself an ark. The ark in essence is the salvation. It is imperative we understand what the ark signifies because it becomes the vehicle to our new world. For Noach, it became his shield. While the earth and all living things outside flooded, Noach survived. It kept him safe and prepared him for what comes next.

What is Noach’s Ark?

In modern terms, the ark is a safe space where we shelter and prepare ourselves for the next step. The ark offers a separation between the evil thing and us. It’s a place where we introspect, we identify triggers – emotional, situational, or environmental. Understanding what leads to these destructive behaviors is fundamental for addressing them. We see deeper because we take the time and ask to see. The ark is very much a physical place because it’s a designated space for this healing to take place. It’s a retreat, a treatment center, or a faraway place with proper support, a vacation with purpose. We go in fully, with the support of family or friends. And to be with others looking to do the same.

We take the time to nourish in the ark, to develop strategies to substitute destructive behaviors. Noach kept busy taking care of his animals. For us that may come in the form of meditation, prayers, breathing techniques, or exercise. This newfound technique is to distract the mind and create a separation when the urge appears. We receive revelation and our salvation in the ark.

Divine Message

During Noach’s time in the ark, rain fell for a total of a hundred and fifty days. All life on Earth was washed away with water. This is the third step in the process; water served as the catalyst for a new world to begin. In the Midrash, the rabbis speak of water as a metaphor for Torah. Like water is vital to human existence, Torah is an essential nourishment for a Jewish soul. Torah becomes the catalyst for a new life, it is embraced in new ways, and with new meaning. The presence of a higher power that controls everything is prominent. This enables us to hand over our perceived control, and place complete trust in our creator. It allows us to erase our old beliefs and replace them with a new program. Knowing everything that appears in our lives is there to serve a purpose.

“And the waters became powerful, and they increased very much upon the earth, and the ark moved upon the waters.”

What we learn from studying biblical text makes us powerful because we have divine data. We hold the secret on how to navigate Earth. Torah helps us to be better individuals by correcting our behaviors, helping other people and being able to implement this knowledge to all aspects of life. Its teaching is universal in the sense that for every situation God is involved. God rules the world. Alcoholic Anonymous understands this concept beautifully and makes it vibrant in its teachings through the recitation of the serenity prayer in their meetings.

“God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.”

We consciously bring God or a higher power to all situations. By taking a breath, a moment and substituting it with our new learned technique. God is there with us. The introduction of water, Torah derived wisdom, or a higher being will bring about newness by rewiring how we react.

Put Knowledge To Practice

According to Torah, a new phase begins. We must leave this safe place and live. Go put everything to test. Be challenged. Embrace the struggles because that’s what life is. That’s what will make us stronger and give us our gifts, our challenges.

“Go out of the ark… be fruitful and multiply upon the earth.”

The ark is only a temporary space to provide us with insight, a guide to direct our efforts, to teach us strategies. And, one day, we get out of it to implement our learning. To make life rich from all we received in the ark. Everything that hold us back, we can free ourselves from and be fruitful. Multiply our world by teaching our strategies, thoughts, and ideas. Sharing our heaven-sent ideas becomes our mission so that we can create a world God can dwell in. A beautiful world free of corruption, darkness or evil. This step, seemingly unimportant, yet crucial in the process because the sharing and teaching to others brings our own healing. Our world becomes interconnected with others, there is a oneness with all. We accomplish a purpose of creation by being one.

Phases of life, naturally brings us to create change needed to support each phase. When life has taken us on a direction where we must create change to grow, we can feel privileged to know instructions have been laid out by Torah. It is up to us to bring it down to Earth. Not only to create a change we want to see in our selves but the world. To create a world of purpose, and unity. One God is happy with.