A Master Negotiator – Vayeira 5782

Being our forefather, Abraham laid the ground of who a Jew is and how a Jew behaves. A Jew performs mitzvahs, imparts kindness, and questions his purpose, all inherited from Abraham. In Parsha Vayeira what becomes clear is that Abraham is a master negotiator. This negotiation skill the Jewish soul has also inherited from Abraham, a negotiator, and a peace maker. 

Abraham was an excellent negotiator. Abraham driven by kindness, love for another, or justice we do not know. What is undeniably apparent is that Abraham achieved what Noah didn’t over the spam of 100 years it took him to build the ark. When G-d shared his plan to destroy the city of Sodom, Abraham stepped in to negotiate their fate. He saved others.

“Far be it from You to do a thing such as this, to put to death the righteous with the wicked so that the righteous should be like the wicked. Far be it from You! Will the Judge of the entire earth not perform justice?”

Superior to Noah: Advocate and Negotiator

Abraham unlike Noah wasn’t just righteous and good. What set him apart is that he saw beyond himself. Abraham did not plead for his saving or his well-being, he pleaded for the city of sodom. This selfless characteristic is what enabled him to become a father to many nations. Abraham is the founder of monotheism. Abraham channeled down ideas and values followed by three of the largest religions in numbers today – Judaism, muslim, and christianity.

Seeing beyond yourself  is a powerful thing on it’s own. To act on selflessness, requires effort. One which Abraham exerted. Abraham pleaded with G-d not destroy the city when he became aware of Sodom’s destiny. The conversation goes back and forth until G-d agrees to not destroy Sodom if ten righteous are found. 

Chutzpah From a Mensch

To tell G-d that this thing is far below you, to act without justice. That’s Chutzpah. Yet, Abraham did this beautifully. Education teaches us, especially child education, in order to get them away from doing negative behavior we should start by letting them see how pure and good they are. Their negative behaviors are not in sync with the great beings they are. We have a greater chance of people embracing any reprimand if the words that accompany them make them feel great and give light to their potential. Abraham spoke to G-d in this manner. How can the almighty ruler of the world not have mercy with righteous people.

To negotiate with G-d, the king of the universe over his actions took courage. Now, it is essential to say that Abraham, being persuasive, humbly made his request by his choice of words. 

 “Behold now I have commenced to speak to the Lord, although I am dust and ashes”.

Abraham candidly used descriptive words that with humility describe and made conscious he was but another of G-d’s creation. His choice of words acted as a sweetener. “Use honey over vinegar” as the saying goes and it gets you further. By Abraham voicing his statement with humble words, he gave way for the type of communication the receiver takes in because a friendly relationship has been established. 

We have to look no further than our forefather Abe to learn the skill of negotiation. Moses demonstrates the same negotiation skills, he inherited from our forefather later in the Torah. When Moshe negotiates to save the Israelites from being banished due to their stiff neck actions.

What Negotiation Achieves

Vayeira, in a short passage, illustrates many good deeds in which we see Abraham’s greatness. Abraham, a master negotiator, teaches to negotiate for the sake of others, without being asked. Vayeira teaches us to impart justice for the righteous because it’s the right thing to do.

We learn our oneness: for ten righteous individuals and the whole town would have been saved.

A significant lesson we take from this interchange between G-d and Abraham is the fact that a decree from heaven can be diverted with good deeds and prayers. We can pray for friends and family.

An essential lesson is training the eye to see the good, not the bad. A fundamental chasidic perspective, the positivity bias book dives deep into this. Abraham negotiated to save Sodom for the good people in it. He discounted the bad behaviors and if they needed reckoning. 

The skill of negotiation enables us to bring win-win situations. Great negotiation skills allow us to bring peace in our borders, in our communities, in our homes and within ourselves. Through the actions of Abraham, the Jew learned the skill of negotiation.

Vayeira Insight

We read and study the weekly parsha with the purpose of implementing the insights and lessons for each week. The Parsha is packed with lessons, every year our eyes see them with a new light. A light that can make transformative change in our lives.

As we read this week’s parsha, Vayeira, whose meaning is “G-d Appeared to Him”. We should have in mind that Abraham used his encounter with G-d for a purpose, to plead for the well-being of a nation.

Lot and his daughters are saved from G-d appearing to Abraham, his seed will bring ultimate redemption. It’s important to be aware we have the same DNA of Abraham, we too possess this selfless trait to pray, and negotiate for our brothers. Through our negotiation skills we can build the home the divine can dwell in.